Dining & Nightlife | Singles

Dear Dr. Love,
I have been divorced for two years, I am 49, extremely attractive and full of life with a great positive attitude. I put myself out there and mostly I have been meeting married men, players and men who want super young women. I am 49 and they all tell me I look at least 37, but putting all that aside, why am I not meeting quality men? I go out in NYC, Nassau and, during the summer, the Hamptons. Yes, I do want to meet a man who is attractive, successful and has a heart and soul, but where are they? I go to dating sites, personal matchmakers, and some singles events (not for me), what am I doing wrong?

Lu, Woodbury, NY

Dear Lu,
Scout’s honor: You’re doing nothing wrong! You are just not attuned to the real world of dating, but trust me, you will learn. Think of yourself as a “star” in your own reality TV series on dating called Lu’s World. Begin to realize that every person you meet, every person you date and every experience you have is for the sole purpose of growing as a person.

So what if you meet married men? I meet married women. Does that mean I have to “go there”? We all meet players (both men and women). Some are actually fun to get to know. You don’t have to marry them, but you can enjoy the experience and company.

I think your issue is a self imposed one—you may be trying too hard to find your mate. You may be too focused on the hunt. You remind me of a racehorse wearing blinders. You can only see what is directly in front of you. May I suggest that you remove your blinders and enjoy the total scene around you?

Here we are, in the month of July…the weather is warm and people seem to smile a great deal more than during the cold winter months. Make an effort to smile before the other person does first. And finally, tell your potential next date that you are looking for a man who has a heart of gold, rather than a vault of gold. Bet he won’t let you go! Good luck!

Please continue sending your questions to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). And, as always, happy dating.