Dining & Nightlife |

Live Stand-Up

May Jokes

Author: Billy Bingo | Published: Thursday, April 29, 2010

Paul Bond
May 7 & 8
McGuire’s Comedy Club, Bohemia
(631) 467-5413, http://mcguirescomedyshows.com

In the Tiger Woods mess, if he were smart he could have blamed Nike for the whole thing. Their slogan is “Just Do It.” I think he did, in fact. He could have told his wife, “I was listening to the Nike voices in my head, honey.” —Paul Bond

Pete Correale
May 14 & 15
Governor’s Comedy Cabaret and Restaurant, Levittown
(516) 731-3358, http://govs.com

The last woman I dated asked me, “Would you fight for me?” I was like, “I don’t even fight for myself, sweetheart. You can run with me ‘cause that’s what I do. We can hold hands while we run—keep it romantic.”—Pete Correale
Women want guys with money, right? Actually, I like my bank teller, but I’m afraid to ask her out ‘cause I think she’ll just punch up my account and go, “I don’t think so.” —Pete Correale

Tales From the Tundra Siberian Husky Rescue Fundraiser
May 15, 8:30pm
Jokerz Wild Comedy Club, Four Points By Sheraton Hotel, Plainview
(516) 830-1945, http://jokerzwildcomedyclub.com

Starring Raymond the Amish Comic. Tickets: $30.

Sandy Marks
May 28 & 29
The Brokerage Comedy Club, Bellmore
(516) 781-5233, http://brokeragecomedy.com

I just had my car stolen and that’s when I realized what a crappy car I owned—I got upset because I had just filled the gas tank. —Sandy Marks

Author: Billy Bingo
Billy Bingo retired from the FDNY with over 20 years on the job. Since retiring he is now doing Stand Up Comedy full time and there's no turning back. Billy became hooked on performing whether it was cracking jokes at the kitchen table at his firehouse located in Jamaica Queens or on stage at the world famous Caroline’s on Broadway. His stand up performance is based on being a NYC Firefighter as well as what goes on in his life at home.