Dining & Nightlife |

If You Intimidate, You Eliminate

By Jack Mandel

Author: Dr. JM Love | Published: Friday, May 29, 2009

Hi Dr. Love,
I must say I really enjoy reading your column, especially “Is He Married?” It sounds like you have experienced a lot and you are very truthful in giving out advice. My question to you today is what is the best way to approach women? I am 6’3, 235 lbs, single, 31-year-old personal trainer from Long Island. My job involves a lot of face to face interaction and I find that when I approach women, they are either intimidated by my size or the way I approach them. If you can shed some light on what are the best ways to approach a woman, especially at work.
Long Island personal trainer

Dear PT from Long Island,
Thanks for your kind words about my column. Experience aside, I must admit, that just like you, I’m still a work in progress.
Your question is an interesting one. You see, without even trying, (being 6’3”, 235 lbs) you do come across as physically intimidating. But do you realize that women can be equally as intimidating to men? They may have a face or figure so beautiful, so striking, that men are afraid to even approach while other women are envious or jealous. Even intelligence or a higher level of education or a better paying job/career puts a member of the opposite sex in an awkward position. See my point?
My advice to you? Ask management to provide you and the other trainers with a button (or shirt) which says something like “Ask me, I’m here to help.” And both in and out of the gym, emphasize what kind of friendly, giving, person you are. Always smile!
Learn to speak in complimentary phrases (Have a great day, I like your outfit, etc). If your encounter establishes an honest communication, you’ll know it in a matter of minutes. If not, keep smiling and move on.
Readers, it’s summer, take things light and relaxed! Send your questions to me via email: Drlove@lipulse.com. Until next month, happy dating to all!

Dr. JM Love
Author: Dr. JM Love
Email your questions to drlove@lipulse.com.

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Reader Comments | read reactions to this article

Ali wrote on June 23, 2009

it’s the simple things we forget… a smile goes a long way

Murphy wrote on June 23, 2009

Absolutely! I totally agree, a smiling face will definitely let others know that you are nothing to be afraid of.

Shannon wrote on June 12, 2009

I agree. Feeling idtimidated keeps people from opening up. Smiling and making eye contact will go a long way and make the other person feel more comfortable in any situation.

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