Dining & Nightlife | Singles

As 2009 bids adieu, a new decade begins. And with it, a promise of dating joy and relationship happiness (or so we all like to think). Once again, this past year has given me the chance to learn from the many singles I met at my lectures to the many married-who-wish-they-were-single. There’s opportunity almost everywhere to make yourself (myself) a better person. Here’s a sample of what I mean:

1) When two individuals begin a relationship, you have much to learn—everything is new. As you get close in an emotional and/or physical way, one of the two will quickly become more vulnerable and unfortunately more susceptible to being hurt. Interestingly enough, age doesn’t matter much. This axiom holds true whether you are 17 or 70!

2) It’s a real challenge to find that innocent and yes, childlike, love the second time around. For most of us (at least me), the past holds memories of a simpler, more gentle time. Perhaps all the emotional baggage we bring with us as we age weighs down the scale of love. Do we really gain more wisdom from our past experiences? Sometimes I have to seriously wonder.

3) Many men and women in a relationship tend to compete rather than complement one another. Why? Just as in marriage, think of you and your significant other as members of the same team—there is no “I” in the word team. Therefore, think of the letter “T” to stand for Together. For 2010, I will continue to attempt to modify my Alpha-dog mentality with those women I meet. It’s a promise I made to myself. Maybe this year I’ll hold to it. We’ll see.

4) It’s not so easy to get a reality TV show on your schedule. Last year, I sent out a DVD pilot titled Hit The Road Jack highlighting my personal experiences after divorce. To date, only one cable network asked me to sign A Submission Agreement. I guess my Rock of Love fame may have to wait a little longer than I anticipated.

5) If he (or she) is really into you, that person will almost always pick up your phone call, be ready on time, text you right back or email you minutes later. Everything will be on an ASAP basis because YOU rock his/her world!

6) And finally, ladies in 2010, make a promise to yourself: STOP giving out your cell number to men unless you really want them to call you! It’s the number one complaint from men about women. And men, many women have a pet peeve about you too. DO NOT ask for a phone number unless you really plan to call her. Fair is fair!

To all my readers, may you have a healthy and happy New Year! Until next year, happy dating! Email your comments and questions to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).